by Tommy Gimler
Um, no shit.
According to ESPN, which means the story might be a better fit for The Onion, at least ten former staff members under head coaches Lovie Smith and Marc Trestman said that the Chicago Bears have no shot at winning as long as Jay Cutler is their quarterback.
What’s going to be their next story, cheese is fucking delicious?
Even Stevie Wonder would tell you the Bears offense looks pig shit awful with Cutler at the helm. Among quarterbacks who have started at least 24 games since 2012, Cutler ranks 17th in QB rating, 15th in touchdowns, 18th in yards, 20th in yards per attempt, 8th in interceptions, and 1st in pouting, just barely beating out Eli Manning for the top spot.
But this is somehow news to the crew over at the four-letter. Be sure you tune in tomorrow to learn how having 70 bucks in your pocket is better than having 15 or how shitting your pants at Denny’s is not a good way to start a Christian Mingle first date…
Wait, there’s more: Watch This Dude Puke On Himself At A Montreal Canadiens Game
You have got to see this shit:
